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Directed By: Tamra Davis.
Starring: Britney Spears, Anson Mount, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning, Dan Aykroyd.
Synopsis: Britney Spears makes her big screen debut. Three childhood friends take a cross-country road trip to stardom.
If there was a studio who wanted to make Barbie: The Movie they should look no further than Crossroads. A meandering, insipid, boring and uninspired road trip movie ...and I am being nice!
My friend Melanie wanted to see a flick and she was holding off on Super Troopers because her boyfriend Morrie wants to see it. She made a joke about seeing this film...I then turned it into a dare...I dared her to watch this movie. So an hour and a half later I am in the theatre blaming her for this debacle on screen when really it was my fault. I brought this aberration into my life under my own accord.
This is no mere turkey of a flick though, oh no! Not content to just be bad, it has to border on abysmal. Think I'm joking? Take this dialogue:
"Hey, how's the fetus?"
This is the exchange between a man who believes he is the father of Mimi's (Taryn Manning) baby. Not, how's the baby? He says, 'how's the fetus?' This is a man trying to get back together and 'do the right thing' and give the baby a father and he uses the line...'how's the fetus?' Who the hell wrote this thing? (Well, Shonda Rhimes did who is a director in her own right...this must be an example of a big pay cheque for a bad movie).
I mean, it's so horrible it is actually kind of brilliant. In fact, this whole movie is so horrible it borders on brilliance. This flick manages to cover; teen pregnancy, unwanted babies, rape, drinking, cheating, miscarriages and of course, a song by Britney Spears.
You know what should happen in a road trip movie? Something! Anything! Anything at all but not in this film. No, these three little prissy bitches get all tied up in stupid arguments and then make up in the next scene. They then proceed to fight once more before making up. It makes one want to retch...and still, nothing ever happens.
As for that Barbie remark, there was a point to it. Miss Spears and her co-horts run around in tight clothes, bopping through each scene in different wardrobes, always looking perfect in their clothes. Whatever plain of reality they are on...perhaps the Perfect Pepsi Generation plain, it is a candy coloured world that smells vaguely like the death of teen spirit.
This is by the numbers, cookie cutter film making at its absolute worst. However Madonna was able to survive Body of Evidence...Spears can survive this.
How's the fetus, indeed!
Copyright© Written By: Rob Paul
Britney's DVD Welcome
Commentary with Producer Ann Carli, Writer Shonda Rhimes and Director Tamra Davis
The Making-Of Crossroads: 40 Days with Britney
First In Line: Inside The Crossroads' Premiere
7 Deleted Scenes with On-Camera Introductions by Director Tamra Davis
Break Through Britney - Fun Facts and Inside Comments from Britney Accessed During the Movie
2 Music Videos: "Overprotected" and "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" Music Video
Sing Along with Britney Karaoke Videos for "Overprotected" and "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman"
Edit Your Own Music Video
Taryn's T-Shirts: How to Make the T-Shirts from the "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" Karaoke Scene
Crossroads Photo Gallery
4 TV Spots
Domestic Theatrical Trailer
International Theatrical Teaser Trailer
Widescreen 2.35:1 (Anamorphic)
ENGLISH: Dolby Digital 5.1
ENGLISH: Dolby Digital Surround
FRENCH: Dolby Digital Surround
The DVD Review:
I actually expect this title to perform way better than the movie did at the box-office...although it did pull in a respectable $38 million box domestic...this disc is loaded with everything a Britney fan will want to check out...
However, as I was not a fan of the film, I doubt I will be lining up to watch this one again.