That's not to say this Rob Schneider penned film doesn't have its moments. It does, just not many, and none of them show stoppers. A parody of The Matrix falls way short of the mark, as does a running gag between a police detective (William Forsythe), his genitalia and Deuce himself.

The premise is simple. Deuce is a fish tank cleaner, he meets up with Antoine (Oded Fehr) a gigolo who needs Deuce's help because Antoine's fish is sick. The fish needs 48 hour care but Antoine needs to leave for Sweden. Deuce is now house sitting with only two warnings. Don't destroy anything, and don't answer the phone. Now it is time for the hilarity to ensue...except it doesn't. As you are beaten around the head with the obviousness of each set up you watch Deuce destroy the apartment, then answer the phone. Of course he becomes a gigolo to pay for the damages he has caused, and then he falls in love... somewhere in here we are supposed to care about this loser. Don't ask me where, I was to busy thinking I would slap him painfully if I ever met such a dolt in real life.

There are no hard and fast rules of comedy.
That is true.
If you do define a rule of comedy, it instantly becomes void, and is no longer funny.
However, going through life stupid and without any aspirations does not a character make, so Deuce is a cardboard cut-out of a human being. There is nothing there for the audience to relate to, feel sorry for or care. If we care for the character, perhaps the few laughs we do indulge in won't feel like we just paid Deuce off like one of his clients.

The plain and sad, simple truth is, jar-heads of all sorts will flock to this flick. The poster should have the tag-line, If You Thought The Waterboy Was Funny, This Thing Is For You. This leads one to the painful revelation that there is good reason for The Waterboy similarities. The movie was produced by Adam Sandler's company Happy Madison. This movie follows the same formula as a Sandler flick...be mildly funny, mostly amusing, toss in the occasional gross-out joke and the jar-heads will come.

Harsh, isn't it?
There is nothing, I repeat, nothing worse to me than sitting through a bad comedy.
That's what I once thought, now I have realized something worse. Having to relive the horror as one writes a review.

I'm done slamming Deuce, because, if you are any kind of human being at all, you make up your own mind one way or the other without listening to a critic.

Into the up-notes of the film.
There are moments we get to laugh. Not at the amputee girlfriend, or the dates with weight problems, Tourette's Syndrome, or gigantism. There is Deuce's pimp, a fast talking man named T.J. (played by Eddie Griffin) who introduces a whole new dictionary for the gigolo impaired. Maybe it's a testament to my own downfalls, but the words Man-gina and Man-Whore got through and managed a smile.

Also, there will be little said about Kate (Arija Bareikis), the one-legged girlfriend of Deuce's, but for the small amount of screen time she has, she shines. She is one of the few highlights in this film, giving a small injection of emotion where she can. It will be interesting to see what she brings to the big screen when she has a real script behind her. At least we won't have to wait too long for that. She has a small role in Ethan Hawke's up-coming film, Snow Falling On Cedars.

In the end, even though Rob Schneider wrote and starred in this mess, I still like the guy. Which is odd. I never really cared for his character's on SNL, nor did I like his Men Behaving Badly sitcom all that much. Still, there is something there. An odd spark in the man's eyes, like watching Charles Manson doing stand up. So, Rob, if you are going to have a film career, I'd say, pick your scripts more carefully ...but you wrote this one! Perhaps try befriending the Farrelly Brothers.

Copyright© DVDwolf.com
Copyright© Written By: Rob Paul
Feel the need to spout off? Voice your opinion on the DVDwolf Forum!

The DVD Review:
This Review originally appeared at Videoflicks.com when I was a reviewer for them but it has since been remvoed from the site.